Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Viking life

The life of a viking is not as easy as it sounds. Conner Macleod brought up some questions. Like about a boat. Well Conner,  I should tell you getting a war boat is kind of hard. First you have to talk to the tribe leader. He has such big puffy hair all around his face that he has trouble hearing. It is also hard to look at him because he is so ugly. He has warts and a big ugly nose and and beady eyes that glare into you like hot worms! He is also 8' 5"! Of course I am 7' 5" but... Well anyway if he accepts your request for a warship you need money. And you can' t just pillage a village because you don't have a boat! Then if you get the boat you need more money for a crew! I don't need a crew because I am that EPIC. (As you can see I like EPIC.) My boat's name is the Frigged-Orater!
     Conner Macleod also brought up pillaging villages. Well all vikings start out small. I started by raiding chipmunks and squirrels nests. I mostly got acorns and walnuts. The walnuts were pretty good except for the chipmunk and squirrel slobber! Now I am on step two. Raiding refrigerators!!! I raid them world wide now! I start by running into the kitchen screaming my blood-curdling war cry. FFFFFFOOOOOOOO(burp)OOODDDDDDDDD!!!!!! Of course everyone starts screaming
"AAAAAA! It is the Viking Stonehelm the Hungry!" Then I yell " No you oxter faces! It is Stonehelm the Wise, great, strong, awesome, and humble!" Of course nobody listens. So I charge in swinging my Thor hammer! Ha Ha Haaaaa! I open the fridge with heavily demonic force! Then I raid the turkey of its drum sticks, rip into the steak, and take all the root beer and ginger ale possible!
     Next step is villages. Then I will get serious drinks! Tiki also loves to raid meat. He is at your doorstep now... watching you... waiting to pounce ANYONE who walks through the door. Nobody will survive the wraith of TIKI! (thunder rumble) There is no escape.

Now I have to go raid a refrigerater. Watch for me and my war-cat, if you see me coming run away. I may take your food. Don't have any nightmares about Tiki, ok? Ok good I don't want to be sued. Bye!
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2 comments:

  1. Servant of InevitabilityAugust 11, 2011 at 1:09 PM

    I will take your food you Armpit Faces and show of My Muscularness while holding my hammer ??MJolnir??
    Muhuhuhahaha.....



    Mesa Been thinking you must live in the south because i have never heard of any Northern Vikings much like the one you described... I am a Northern Viking And so Will Probably never meet you but the tales of your wise philosophies have even reached the far northern mountains... I did not until recently understand your wiseness of stealing from fridges. It is brilliant the fridges are so pack with delicious thinks Meat, Cheese, Meat, Milk, Meat, And Especially MEAT. I will have to share this with everyone in my village for it is profoundly wise..... I am called Many names My Favorite is By far ByrnJolf The Brave... I too have a ship but with a name nothing like (Frigged Orater).... It is called.......... ZZZZZZZzzzzzz....... Oh sorry I must Have Dozed Off It is CALLED HalGird..... Muhuhuhuhuhahahahaha


    We do not have war cats in the North.... I wish we did though they sound totally GROOVY..... We Have War Lizards....... Well Long story short we breed Lizards With Dragons and this is what happened...... Dragons are much to crazy As you Probably know and lizards are to docile so we combined them....... BEST OF BOTH WORLDS....... MUHUHUHUHUHAHAHAHA......



    And for now


    Conner Macleod


    (or ByrnJolf The Brave If you Prefer it)



    And Then The World Went Dark

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  2. Servant of InevitabilityAugust 12, 2011 at 11:56 AM

    And I think YOU should PROBABLY put a DARKSPORE NUMA NUMA VIDEO ON HERE MUHUHUHUHAHAHAHA ME THINK THATD BE VERY GROOVY AND AWESOME MUHUHUHUHUHUHAHAHAHAHA....


    Connor Macleod


    Then The World Went Dark

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