Return of the Return of STONEHELM!!!

     Death never holds a viking, but I was never really dead so that does not apply to me. For I am here to write about my adventures with my good friend Tiki! I hope everyone knows this, but The Hobbit is out!!! I went to see it, and it was awesome! They did a very good job with it, my mind was blown like a weasel in a microwave! (don't try that at home, it is kind of gross...) If you have not seen it yet, go and see it. If you don't plan on seeing it, I will send Tiki to hunt you down, tie you up, and stick you in the microwave with the weasel!... Sorry, got carried away there.
     So, I have found some great videos for you I think everyone will like this, if you don't I will put you in the microwa... never mind Damien Walters 2011 Official Showreel, Best World Parkour 2012... I wish I could do that... Well, I'll keep practicing. So anyway, I love those videos because it really shows the extent of the human body, I mean really, when I watched those this was my face  0_o. I looked just like that face. I just love that kind of stuff.
     Want some more videos? Here are some just to watch when you are board or you have free-time
 O Fortuna Misheard Lyrics (Animated)
 .He-Man's Fabulous Secret Powers!!
 Gersberms
 Everyday I'm Shufflin' - Star Wars Cantina Band (Original)
2012 Dance Off with Star Wars Stars - Hyperspace Hoopla at Star Wars Weekends (this one is long)
     Yeah... good times... Hope you have fun with those. Well,That should be enough awesome for now, Tiki might just eat your soul in your sleep... oh, or he might squeegee your dipthong*! Until next time dear friends go see The Hobbit! Bye!


*( "...also known as a gliding vowel, refers to two adjacent vowel sounds occurring within the same syllable.")

Possessed Food and Mission Imposable

     So Tiki was sent on a top secret Viking mission to hunt down angry, possessed food that had been supposedly terrorising the Viking village. I blurted out "Possessed food! You all are as loony as my oxters!" then they said, " No, Stonehelm the Wise the food has been coming to life from the ancient spirit of the long lost LoogieHauker tribe!" So I said, "Ha Ha Ha!" (Clash of thunder) Well, anyway later that week I was fixing the all famous "Sonehelm the Chef's Flaming Tortilla" (recipe below) in the microwave, and when I looked in I saw the tortilla was lifting up like an air bubble! I could hear the angry giggling that could only be identified as a LoogieHauker's! So I grabbed my battle ax just as Tiki the Ninja jumps from the ceiling and eats my dinner, right out of the microwave... I knew better than to challenge him so I simply made another, non-possessed, dinner.

"Stonehelm the Chef's Famous Flaming Tortilla"

    Ingredients

1 Tortilla

Lots of grated cheese

Tons of your favorite brand of hot sauce

     How to cook it

Put tortilla flat on plate, then pour excessive amounts of your favorite cheese on tortilla. Then GLOB the hot sauce on the wonder sitting before you. Then you can either microwave it (beware of Viking demons) or roll it up and stuff your face until your heart's content or your heart's attack.

    Serving sizes

Who cares, it's all for you.

   For another great recipe see this video--->    Twinkie Wiener Sandwich

     Wow, that is lovely, is it not? I actuly tried it once, but that is a diffrent story... So I went to see the new Mission Inpossable, and I know those who have not seen it are saying that it will not be as good as the other ones, but once they do come to watch it they will be disproven. It was EPIC! It was a good action flick. It had all the elements of a good spy movie. Guns, big booms, and Tom Cruise. There are three kinds of movies in my opinion, bonnet movies, laser movies, and Viking movies. (The last two are the best)

     I must go continue my EPIC quest of raiding refrigerators/ saving the world from possessed food. So watch for me and Tiki! If we are coming your way, you better step back from that twinkie... Goodbye. 

Tiki Vs. Clint Eastwood and Movie Reveiws

As you can tell I have something to say about Clint Eastwood, Chuck Norris, and Tiki. I found this picture

     After seeing this I thought " Hmmm... I bet Tiki could beat all of them. Yes, Clint Eastwood checks for Tiki under his bed." 



There he is. This is what all of them check for under their beds. Tiki and the Raven.

     Well, here is a video that shows what a Viking sounds like when they sing. Trololo sing Wow. That sounds like our chief in the shower scubbing his oxters.  

     As the one and only Stonehelm The Wise, I am excited about "The Hobbit" movie. I was thinking one day while drinking my root beer "I hope they do well with Smaug. That could be the most amazing part of the move!" Then I mused "What if Smaug looked like Barney!" Holy, Hairy, Oxters!!! That gives me nightmares just thinking about that! Whatever Smaug looks like, Tiki could beat him. I am also excited for "The Avengers"movie, I knew Captain America back in 1914. Yeah, good times. "The Hunger Games" should also be really good, the books were great with the exception of "Mockingjay". I did not like that one. No...  I also hope everyone is excited for "Men in Black 3"! They got all the original actors so it should be good, same with "Ghostbusters 3"

     I must go ponder such matters and meditate (yes, I do float as I do so) upon food philosophy. Tiki will join with his claws. Until next time, bye, and stay groovy. (Disco afros are cool)



Snow, Food, and Fezzes. A Viking's Dream.

     Behold, I have lived through a long, epic, crazy trek across the U.S.A. I traveled from the far West to the cold East, through average days and Christmas. Now I have arrived in the new home of STONEHELM THE WISE!!! The schools will now suffer the wrath of my amazing belches. I traveled by van, or should I say tank?! For Christmas I received many a great things, some of which are...
1. A bow tie  2. A fez  3. A knife.    These are some of the things I got that demonstrate my epic personality.
     As a scout I go camping a lot, and this time I went winter camping. As a Viking from the cold areas of the North I was ready for snow up to your waist and bitter cold winds. And as a Wise Viking I packed appropriately. I arrived and it was an open plain, no wind and 50 degree weather. Wow. Well, that night it snowed for half of the night, then rained the rest. The next morning there on the ground was a rabid BADGER... Just kidding there was a layer of snowy ice all around. Then I tried to make pancakes (one of which was a triangular prism.)
     That leads me to another subject, food. All Vikings love food, however we can't make the simplest foods. I can't cook pancakes, and especially cake. Don't believe me? Look at the remnants of "The Cake" (cue dramatic music)  

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!

 Shriek! That is scary even for me! Well, I would prefer if you did not sue me for the heart attack I might of caused because of this photo. That was one cake not even Tiki would eat.

   I am proud to say that there are 722 views on my blog.  Tiki is proud, too. He is on the hunt for full refigerators so be on the look out because he might just be lurking in your kitchen right now...

   Anyways, the Super Bowl is coming up and everyone is excited to sit and watch football while snacking, except for me and my Viking clan. I don't because they changed it from the original Viking way. We still play it as our ancestors played it, with heavy armour and battle axes. The ball of course was the same basic shape just made with plutonium. If you held it too long you would morph into a monster of unspeakable hairy-ness. Let's not even go there.

   I need to hunt for meat so until our next meeting bye from the Viking in the fez and bow tie.