Sunday, December 16, 2012

Return of the Return of STONEHELM!!!

     Death never holds a viking, but I was never really dead so that does not apply to me. For I am here to write about my adventures with my good friend Tiki! I hope everyone knows this, but The Hobbit is out!!! I went to see it, and it was awesome! They did a very good job with it, my mind was blown like a weasel in a microwave! (don't try that at home, it is kind of gross...) If you have not seen it yet, go and see it. If you don't plan on seeing it, I will send Tiki to hunt you down, tie you up, and stick you in the microwave with the weasel!... Sorry, got carried away there.
     So, I have found some great videos for you I think everyone will like this, if you don't I will put you in the microwa... never mind Damien Walters 2011 Official Showreel, Best World Parkour 2012... I wish I could do that... Well, I'll keep practicing. So anyway, I love those videos because it really shows the extent of the human body, I mean really, when I watched those this was my face  0_o. I looked just like that face. I just love that kind of stuff.
     Want some more videos? Here are some just to watch when you are board or you have free-time
 O Fortuna Misheard Lyrics (Animated)
 .He-Man's Fabulous Secret Powers!!
 Everyday I'm Shufflin' - Star Wars Cantina Band (Original)
2012 Dance Off with Star Wars Stars - Hyperspace Hoopla at Star Wars Weekends (this one is long)
     Yeah... good times... Hope you have fun with those. Well,That should be enough awesome for now, Tiki might just eat your soul in your sleep... oh, or he might squeegee your dipthong*! Until next time dear friends go see The Hobbit! Bye!

*( "...also known as a gliding vowel, refers to two adjacent vowel sounds occurring within the same syllable.")

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Possessed Food and Mission Imposable

     So Tiki was sent on a top secret Viking mission to hunt down angry, possessed food that had been supposedly terrorising the Viking village. I blurted out "Possessed food! You all are as loony as my oxters!" then they said, " No, Stonehelm the Wise the food has been coming to life from the ancient spirit of the long lost LoogieHauker tribe!" So I said, "Ha Ha Ha!" (Clash of thunder) Well, anyway later that week I was fixing the all famous "Sonehelm the Chef's Flaming Tortilla" (recipe below) in the microwave, and when I looked in I saw the tortilla was lifting up like an air bubble! I could hear the angry giggling that could only be identified as a LoogieHauker's! So I grabbed my battle ax just as Tiki the Ninja jumps from the ceiling and eats my dinner, right out of the microwave... I knew better than to challenge him so I simply made another, non-possessed, dinner.
"Stonehelm the Chef's Famous Flaming Tortilla"
1 Tortilla
Lots of grated cheese
Tons of your favorite brand of hot sauce
     How to cook it
Put tortilla flat on plate, then pour excessive amounts of your favorite cheese on tortilla. Then GLOB the hot sauce on the wonder sitting before you. Then you can either microwave it (beware of Viking demons) or roll it up and stuff your face until your heart's content or your heart's attack.
    Serving sizes
Who cares, it's all for you.
   For another great recipe see this video--->    Twinkie Wiener Sandwich

     Wow, that is lovely, is it not? I actuly tried it once, but that is a diffrent story... So I went to see the new Mission Inpossable, and I know those who have not seen it are saying that it will not be as good as the other ones, but once they do come to watch it they will be disproven. It was EPIC! It was a good action flick. It had all the elements of a good spy movie. Guns, big booms, and Tom Cruise. There are three kinds of movies in my opinion, bonnet movies, laser movies, and Viking movies. (The last two are the best)
     I must go continue my EPIC quest of raiding refrigerators/ saving the world from possessed food. So watch for me and Tiki! If we are coming your way, you better step back from that twinkie... Goodbye. 

Monday, February 6, 2012

Tiki Vs. Clint Eastwood and Movie Reveiws

As you can tell I have something to say about Clint Eastwood, Chuck Norris, and Tiki. I found this picture

     After seeing this I thought " Hmmm... I bet Tiki could beat all of them. Yes, Clint Eastwood checks for Tiki under his bed." 

There he is. This is what all of them check for under their beds. Tiki and the Raven.
     Well, here is a video that shows what a Viking sounds like when they sing. Trololo sing Wow. That sounds like our chief in the shower scubbing his oxters.  
     As the one and only Stonehelm The Wise, I am excited about "The Hobbit" movie. I was thinking one day while drinking my root beer "I hope they do well with Smaug. That could be the most amazing part of the move!" Then I mused "What if Smaug looked like Barney!" Holy, Hairy, Oxters!!! That gives me nightmares just thinking about that! Whatever Smaug looks like, Tiki could beat him. I am also excited for "The Avengers"movie, I knew Captain America back in 1914. Yeah, good times. "The Hunger Games" should also be really good, the books were great with the exception of "Mockingjay". I did not like that one. No...  I also hope everyone is excited for "Men in Black 3"! They got all the original actors so it should be good, same with "Ghostbusters 3"
     I must go ponder such matters and meditate (yes, I do float as I do so) upon food philosophy. Tiki will join with his claws. Until next time, bye, and stay groovy. (Disco afros are cool)

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Snow, Food, and Fezzes. A Viking's Dream.

     Behold, I have lived through a long, epic, crazy trek across the U.S.A. I traveled from the far West to the cold East, through average days and Christmas. Now I have arrived in the new home of STONEHELM THE WISE!!! The schools will now suffer the wrath of my amazing belches. I traveled by van, or should I say tank?! For Christmas I received many a great things, some of which are...
1. A bow tie  2. A fez  3. A knife.    These are some of the things I got that demonstrate my epic personality.
     As a scout I go camping a lot, and this time I went winter camping. As a Viking from the cold areas of the North I was ready for snow up to your waist and bitter cold winds. And as a Wise Viking I packed appropriately. I arrived and it was an open plain, no wind and 50 degree weather. Wow. Well, that night it snowed for half of the night, then rained the rest. The next morning there on the ground was a rabid BADGER... Just kidding there was a layer of snowy ice all around. Then I tried to make pancakes (one of which was a triangular prism.)
     That leads me to another subject, food. All Vikings love food, however we can't make the simplest foods. I can't cook pancakes, and especially cake. Don't believe me? Look at the remnants of "The Cake" (cue dramatic music)  
 Shriek! That is scary even for me! Well, I would prefer if you did not sue me for the heart attack I might of caused because of this photo. That was one cake not even Tiki would eat.

   I am proud to say that there are 722 views on my blog.  Tiki is proud, too. He is on the hunt for full refigerators so be on the look out because he might just be lurking in your kitchen right now...

   Anyways, the Super Bowl is coming up and everyone is excited to sit and watch football while snacking, except for me and my Viking clan. I don't because they changed it from the original Viking way. We still play it as our ancestors played it, with heavy armour and battle axes. The ball of course was the same basic shape just made with plutonium. If you held it too long you would morph into a monster of unspeakable hairy-ness. Let's not even go there.

   I need to hunt for meat so until our next meeting bye from the Viking in the fez and bow tie.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

The Christmas Viking

     I am back from the long adventure I had. My ship got lost and I was stuck on a lost island, where I found a lost tribe of crazy natives, and a very, VERY lost Lady Gaga. To get off the island I shaved her head and used it as a very shiny mirror to flag down planes. I shaved it with my battle ax. Soon a plane came by and picked us up.
    Anyway Thanksgiving was fun, I stuffed my EPIC Viking self. I ate turkey, taters, cranberry sauce, sweet taters, Pi, oh, and pie. FOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!
     Well it is almost Christmas round these here parts and it is another Holiday for STUFFING YOUR FACE!!! I love it, not only for the food but for the giving of presents. I love to see the kids face when they open the box only to find a couple of rabid badgers. I also give to you a new video! I play cello but this guy does not only play it, but has light saber battles with it.

Cello wars

all the same guy and...


     Those videos are amazing, he is now my new role model. Well hope you like those. Anyway I am now the Viking Santa, I give presents to the little viking kids. I give them training axes and shields. For the bad kids... I give them a box of rabid badgers. It all started when Santa needed extra help so he tried to hire ninjas. They started to chop up all the barbie dolls. Then he tried to use Vulcans, but they thought making toys was "illogical". Then he hired Vikings. We were a lot like Santa, chubby, beards, and love to eat. He was happy with us and we had a eggnog chugging contest.
     Well, I am going to a far  away place where it is cold. I am going there forever, till I move again. I am also jamming out to Crazy Frog.
Rock, Paper, Spock?
That is how you solve all debates. Well I need to go do Viking things thanks for reading. No, Tiki... Nooooo, BAD WAR-CAT

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Post-Halloween (for lack of a better name)

Well I have look at my stats and I saw I had 8 views today and I had over 100 in the past month!!!  So thanks for reading my blog everyone. Please follow me in all my adventures (posts).
So on Halloween, I had a great time. I was a 70s disco dude. I did not go trick or treating (I would of raided someone’s candy!) So I stayed outside and played cello. I also scared the little helmets off of some Viking kids with the fog machine! It was all-around fun. I want to know what you were. Please tell me in comments! ---} There they are!

So I found a video that has the complete cast and crew of Doctor Who dancing and I think the world should see this.

That is amazing! I also love the Irish/Scottish singers! I got the song! It is that good! So if David Tennant reads this I would like to say YOU ARE EPIC!!! So Tiki has been REALLY scary because it was Halloween but now he is saying "gobble" a lot. That means it is almost THANKSGIVING! A whole holiday just for stuffing your face with raided fridge food!!! I love it. Then after that- Christmas! Tis' a great season. Vikings love the cold. So this time of year you will see Vikings out caroling and stuffing their faces. So once again thanks to ALL of my readers. And by the way, watch for Tiki the Stupid. If you tell him you know Stonehelm the Wise, he might spare your refrigerator.

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Stonehelm the Busy

I, Stonehelm the Wise, Great, Epic, and Humble am not dead but have returned from an EPIC trip. I have fought many wars and lived many battles!  I also got stranded at Kokomo for a bit but that is not as intense as wars. Anyway I have not been on the blog for a while so I have a lot to say as you can imagine. School/survival camp has been … exciting.  As a WISE Viking I was put in Honors Reading and Math. Those are fun let me tell you.

Well, it is October, the time for ghouls and goblins, and Vikings. Not to mention doctors. I, Stonehelm have planned ahead and have decided what to be for Halloween. I am going to be The Doctor from the TV show Doctor Who.  I really like that show. The monsters are so creative- like the Ood, Weeping Angels, and the infamous Dalek.  I am also obsessed with the name Steve. Just kidding.

I once again found some EPIC music. It has orchestral-like sounds playing with techno beats in the back. How is that possible?  See for yourself. They’re dark, sad and inspiring. Here some are in that order.


This is awesome stuff!
You know someday I hope to be an actor. That would be so much fun.  Or you know what else would be cool? Someone famous reading my blog, like Weird Al!

Ok, I know you all are DYING to know about Tiki the Stupid. He has been stupid as ever. No, not really; he has calmed down a ton, but is still Tiki. He HATES the Halloween decorations. We have these lights in our house and someday he will bite one and electrocute himself.  He has also eaten a rubber spider.  Stupid.

Well, time is running out so I bid you farewell from me and Tiki!